There are 3 of us living in this house and I am the only one working. I make less than 15,000 a year. The 2 other people in this cannot find work. They have tried. i am trying to keep my sanity. I hate my job. I hate the people I work with. I got to work and everyday ask myself why am I not looking for a new job? I need for me and my husband to move out and be on our own. My weight keeps going up. I don't even know what to do with myself anymore.

I also think that my brother wants my husband to live on his schedule instead of having any kind of schedule with me. My brother likes to be a night owl, every job he ever worked was during grave shift. My brother always tempts my husband to stay up later by asking to watch a movie, or saying shit like... you hungry? Or saying hey, let's play that game. Then my brother makes a full course meal.

Did I mention how unbelievably broke I have been? We all have been? I scrounge everyday to get us all useless crap, like cigarettes and soda. How stupid is that? Then the next day we are all counting change to grab something to eat.

All I feel like I am doing is eating, eating, sleeping, sleeping, and working. Then I work some more. I have even been doing some work at home for extra money.

I feel like I am living a nightmare that will never end.

I try to keep my spirits high. I try. Most times i do well. But I am soooooo tired. Tired of everything. I'm just tired.

When will this end? What am I going to do?

I am embarrassed sometimes at my live. Maybe I made too many wrong choices in life. How do I start making the right ones?

I did want to thank all of you who showed your concern by either emailing me or sending me a little note. I'm okay.... I think..... trying to hung on. I just was having a very difficult time writing. I had nothing that seemed worth my time to write about.