|
I always feel like I have so much to say, and not really anything too say. Z thinks I talk to talk. I don't know. I do like to talk. But i don't feel as though I ever open my mouth just so I can hear myself talk. Now I know you probably feel as though he was being mean, but really he was just being honest and didn't really say it in a bad way. I did not take offense to it at all. He says I sometimes dominate the conversation not letting anyone else get a word in. This sometimes may be true, but doesn't everyone have those times? Or another note, me and the doctor discussed how I am always trying to protect my mother. I never noticed that I really do this. So anyway I just spoke to my mother about my brother traveling on his way home, and he had been having car trouble. She asked if he was having anymore problems with the car and I said no. I lied, just so my mon wouldn't worry. I guess I am protecting her, because I don't think she can handle it. I am not supposed to be doing that. I am not allowed to protect anyone. I'm not allowed to judge if the person can handle a little petty detail or not. I just always think my mother is going to fall apart. I made a mistake and now I am sorry for it. So then I call my brother, and I ask how things are going, and tell him not to say anything to mom about her breaking down. Now it becomes not only a lie, but a secret. Secrets can also sometimes cause problems, I just always have way too many secrets. Oh woe. |