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Monday, Jul. 28, 2003 :: 8:40 P.M.

I should call my mom, I haven't spoken to her in quite some time. She had called me last week, but I was over a friend's house having dinner, we spoke briefly. I really don;t want to call her. Sometimes I just don't enjoy talking with her. She worries about me so much, that I would rather not tell her anything at all. She always makes it seem like it's the end of the world if things don't turn out just so. I know she's going to ask me how I am doing. How do I tell my mother I'm not doing well. Yes, I am still keeping positive, and I have been feeling well. But financially I am falling apart. I am so poor, that I have been bringing change into work to cash it in the register for some bills. I also think about shit like this..... if I pig out while I am at work, when I come home maybe I won't be hungry. But of course I still manage to be able to afford cigarettes. It makes no sense, but I'm sorry to say I cannot live without them. I have been using the same razor for my legs and armpits for 2 months now, and Z has been using my trimmers. We only have that one razor, and it's not sharp enough to shave his face. I went a few days without washing my hair to save on shampoo, plus I didn't have any conditioner. When it finally came down to washing my hair, I used body lotion as my conditioner. To top things off, Z's mom just called and told him that since his car is in her name, and since Z couldn't pay for the last two car payments, that she had a buyer and to just let her know when he wants to sell it. We are running out of things, like soap, toilet paper, food. My brother can't find a job, he sent out hundreds of resumes. people just are not highering. Z decided that since he's layed off, to fill out applications everywhere also. Nothing so far. I'm the only one working. What am I going to do?

Last 5 Entries:
Sprained ankle. - Wednesday, Mar. 03, 2004
Seventh Day. - Wednesday, Mar. 03, 2004
Third day. - Saturday, Feb. 28, 2004
The second day. - Friday, Feb. 27, 2004
Start. - Thursday, Feb. 26, 2004