I managed to sleep most of the day away, that makes me feel like crap. I feel like I wasted a beautiful day. How could I let it slip by? Z says all the time, that I shouldn't beat myself up for a relaxing day. After all..... I did clean my ass off on Tuesday.

That's another thing. The cleaning..... have I been cleaning only because the house is a disgusting mess?, or is it my anxieties, letting my obsessiveness kick in? I really think it's the fact it just needs to be cleaned. I feel like decorating also. It's not my house though, I don't want to over step my boundaries. But bro, would never do it for himself, and I have alot of shit in the basement from my old house.

I feel like crap because I felt work last night for no good damn reason. Why do I do such stupid crap? What the hell is wrong with me?

My eating habits are horrible. I hate to have take blood tests because of all the crap I have been eating. It would only prove how badly I have been doing. I'm supposed to be watching my cholosterol. I never even started to be truthful, well yes, maybe for one day here, one day there.

I need to get on track. Where do I begin? I have made so much progress in therapy, but seem to have not made any changes in my appearance, that make me feel all better. My face looks great, but I think I am gaining more weight. It makes it seem all cancelled out.

Hmmmmmm.....