Okay hang on with me here, I thought of something a few minutes ago.... that's why I decided to write. I needed to write it down so I can remember to inform my doctor.

I once read a story about a man who felt guilty for masturbating. So everytime he tried to pleasure himself he then had to eat his sperm. Eating the sperm seemed to cancel out the guilt. Sort of made him feel like he hid his evidence. So the story then described why the reason he did that was..... It might have been because he grew up in an environment where masturbation was not allowed. ie..... Telling your children they will go blind.

Anyway..... maybe the reason I eat the scabs is because I am hiding the evidence of my pain? Pain from my sores, erasing it all, in some sort of way. I don't know..... but I will eventually find out, I know I will.

I know this story was probably a bit gross for some people, but please, I have some illnesses that make me do this. It's not because I actually enjoy doing some of these things. I just can't help it. I will get rid of it all in time. I'm doing my best right now.

I haven't touched my skin in about 3 weeks. That means my face looks clearer than ever. Thank heavens because I do get married on Saturday after all, but it's more than that. I am trying to get better because I know this is curable.

I have made so many accomplishments. I love myself a bit more. It's been awhile you know since I felt this good. perhaps, I have never felt this good.