Last week, I freaked out, I just wanted to be safe. It was a miserable day out, pouring. I found myself calling my psychologist. After talking with him for almost 45 minutes, my life suddenly changed.

Me and Z have been doing wonderful. I am so 'high on life', that I now know, exactly what that phrase means. I often thought it was just something people said. My GOD, why couldn't I have felt this way 10 years ago, or even last year? I feel like I gave up alot of my life for absolutely no reason at all. Sounds, stupid, because it is stupid. I now life life everyday, day by day. Anyway..... enough rambling for a moment.... me and Z, I can't believe it, we feel solid and whole once again. I can honestly say I love him so much more than before, he loves me unconditionally. He is my soulmate, and I once again feel his soul. He touches me, he touches my heart. He holds my hand, he runs his fingers through my hair, he smiles with me. He jokes, he laughs, he crys, he IS wonderful. I now look at myself in a whole new light. I get up everyday, put make-up on, go to work. I love my job. I dress nice. I fix my hair. I finally care. I see my mistakes, I face my problems. I face the day.