I don't really feel like writing an entry, but here I am. I have been sitting in front of the computer for a few hours, thinking about my bills. I have no idea how I am going to pay them. Z keeps missing work. I'm embarrassed. I have no idea why he keeps doing it. I feel like the pressure is all on me, and I don't work by the hour. I work on commission. So I must work my ass off. I'm waiting for the mortgage lady to call and tell me whether I qualify for one or not. I really don't expect too, beings I ruined my credit by getting sick and being out of work 2 months. I have $140 in my checking account and owe my brother $150, I have a hospital bill, and I have to give my cousin $80 to buy a gift for the bride for the wedding I am in. What the hell am I going to do? I had almost $20,000 in the bank last year and now I am down to 6. I don't even own anything except my car, which I paid off. I haven't bought anything at all. I have nothing to show for spending that money. I didn't actually spend it, I had bills to pay for. I needed to eat. I needed to cloth my body. I only have 3 pair of pants for work, I have no shorts at all. My mother was kind enough to buy me 3 outfits for work, she offered. The psychologist is too expensive, but I need to go, and I need to go every week. I'm getting back into bed. |