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2003-04-02 :: 9:45 p.m.
I have had a rough last two day. I have been crying alot. I just got my period, and that has a lot to do with why I am so off balance. I have to remember to tell that to the doctor tomorrow.

Yesterday, for some strange reason I could not control my compulsiveness. I for absolutely no reason called X (ex-husband), just to argue and cause problems. I honestly thought he would have some answers for me.

You see, me and X, we mutually seperated, and got divorce. We are not technically friends, we were always very civil to each other, even during the most roughest times. He then met someone, I met someone, and we both are happy. The problems is, I can't handle to rejection of it all. I really could care less about X, it's everything else that goes along with getting a divorce. I no longer feel 'right' going and visiting X's family, even though no one is offended by it. Things are just weird, X's family get so choked up over the fact that that me and him are no longer an item, they find it very hard to say anything at all to me. I miss my house. I picked out my house, decorated it, I made it the house of my dreams, X helped with it all.... I had to sell it. Then, there is my dog. I gave up my dog, I can visit him any time I want and even have him for a few days....... problem is, it's not healthy for the dog, everytime he sees me, then goes back to home, he is crazy for a week or so. You know, the normal spiteful dog stuff, shitting on the rug for no reason, chewing up X's things. It's best for the dog that I stay away. Thaat's only to name a few things that divorce does or whatever. There is also the constant daily reminders. My car, was our car. I still have his last name, I couldn't afford to get it changed. Who would have thought getting your name changed cost lots of money, which unfortunately I am more broke than I have ever been in my life.

But, somehow I seem to make it through every day, and most times I manage to fall asleep thinking happy thoughts. It took alot of time to see the progress I have made, the key point is, I am getting there. I just have to remember to keep telling myself that.

Last 5 Entries:
Sprained ankle. - Wednesday, Mar. 03, 2004
Seventh Day. - Wednesday, Mar. 03, 2004
Third day. - Saturday, Feb. 28, 2004
The second day. - Friday, Feb. 27, 2004
Start. - Thursday, Feb. 26, 2004